[문제] Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn form the past and succeed in the present? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
기억을 창조적 활동에 활용한 ‘발명왕’ 에디슨.
기억은 사람들이 과거로부터 배우고 현재에 성공하려는 노력을 방해하는가 아니면 도움을 주는가? 이 문제에 대한 당신의 견해를 발휘하도록 에세이를 기획하고 쓰시오. 논리적 추론과 당신의 독서, 학업, 경험 또는 관찰에서 얻은 예로 논리를 뒷받침하시오. - SAT Essay 주제
[학생 작문] I  certainly agree that memories help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present. Nobody can succeed without learning  mistakes that are made in the past. If one completely forgets the past, then there is no way  for him to develop himself. Inventors did not repress or relinquish  their past to create new  objects. Memories should  remain in our head in order to  approach success.
Inventors do not bring  new changes  in a sudden; they brainstorm, meditate, and  experiecement for a long period of time  that is close to where people can nor more tolerate. Inventors  think over and over and keep trying new experiments. Finally, inventors are able to engender new objects from their past. Thomas Edison had experimented  more than a thousand filaments  to make a light bulb.  Even redoing something more than 10 times  irritate people,  but Edison had attempted to test the filaments until there was a productive result. If Edison had not reflected  himself in the past experiments,  then he would not have been able to invent such a revolutionary  change.
Keeping memories is the most helpful way  than any other ways to improve oneself. Since memory is  a time that people had spent, they  are familiar with themselves. Thus, they can learn  flaws from their memories and try to  fix those problems. As a result, people won’t make the same mistake again. That is why students study and review; they learn mistakes from test results and in the future,  they would still remember why they had made mistakes at that time. Therefore, it is essential  to not only students but also business man, artists, and scientists; everyone must always have a tendency to learn  mistakes from the past and  integrate past and present.
In conclusion,  hindering memories will make people  retrogress and fail to succeed. Learning from the past directly opens a  free path to reach success because it gives such a memorable time reinvent oneself. Thus, old memories should never  be faded away from one’s mind; it will only harm one’s future.
[Comment] Your essay is quite competent. It is clear that you are a good writer and convey certain thoughts and ideas. However, I hope you can work on your analysis a bit more. Your entire essay hinges on the argument that the past (specifically memories) is indeed important. However, your focus is on inventions and creativity. You use the example of Edison and of inventors in general. These are really your only concrete examples. While you certainly could make an argument in that line of thinking, it seems that you could expand your argument further. Inventors do indeed learn from the works of previous inventors (a point that is not mentioned), and they of course learn from their past mistakes. While your argument is a valid one and could probably make a good example, it somehow doesn’t convince as strongly as it could. Only toward the end do you seem to really address the question of how people might use their personal past mistakes to avoid repeating harm to themselves in the future
에세이는 매우 만족스럽습니다. 당신의 글은 훌륭하며 중심 주제와 생각을 잘 전달하고 있습니다. 하지만 분석에 더 많은 노력을 기울였으면 합니다. 전체 에세이는 과거가 정말 중요하다는 논점에 머무르고 있는데, 당신의 초점은 발명과 창조성에 맞춰져 있습니다. 같은 맥락에서 논쟁을 벌이면서 논쟁을 좀더 발전시킬 수 있으리라 봅니다. 발명가는 확실히 이전 발명가의 작품에서 배우고, 물론 과거의 실패로부터도 배웁니다. 당신의 논점은 타당성 있고 좋은 예제지만, 설득시키기엔 부족합니다. 마지막에 이르러서야 당신은 미래에 자신들에게 해가 되지 않도록 어떻게 사람들이 개인적인 과거의 실수를 이용하는지를 다루고 있습니다.
주간동아 622호 (p92~93)