[문제] Are people afraid to speak out against authority, whether the authority is an individual, a group, or a government? Plan and write and essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
흑인인권운동을 벌였던 마틴 루터 킹.
사람들은 권력이나 개인, 그룹 또는 정부를 막론하고 권력에 대항하는 의견 표명을 두려워할까? 독서, 학습, 경험 또는 관찰에서 얻은 논리와 예를 가지고 당신의 주장을 입증하시오.
- SAT Essay 주제
Speaking  against  the authority is regarded as  the brave behavior , because people have to endure  the damages which will follow after speaking. However,  in the history there are many people  who spoke for the large amount of people and let people know the problem of the society. Most  of people would be afraid to speak out against authority  , but to correct the problem, many people spoke up to the authorities.
Many  of the demagogues around the world have spoken out against  the authority. For example,  for the black’s right, not only Martin Luther King Jr.  tried to save the Afro-American, but also Malcolm X and many other people  tried. However, when people speak  up to the government, it is usually because  the minor group has problems. Due to the weakness of  minor group, achieving the goal of the group usually takes  long time and  harsh situation.  But many of the leaders has been achieved success by speaking  up to the authority, and  the more people  are speaking their opinion up to the bigger power.
As  the time  goes by, people  became not afraid of speaking against  the powerful  group.  Compare to the society from past, all the citizen already have rights to speak up. Reading 1984 by George O’well,  I observed the aspect of the Communists party led by a dictator. No citizen had  a freedom, property, or privacy. If one  spokes something out that is against the dictator’s order,  government captures him and kills him. This situation could be similar to  that of Hitler’s or Mussolini’s.  But, nowadays most  of the country are  based on democratic principle,  people are no longer afraid of speaking out.
In conclusion, speaking against  the authority  has become not a scare opportunity.  In this society, minor opinion also has right to speak their opinion to the major group although it was not an easy job for the past people who were suffered by dictators.
[Comment] The ideas that you have in your essay are excellent. Also, your organization is very good. However, as you can see, you have a lot of problems with grammar and writing in a ‘native speaker-like’ manner. Pay close attention to the corrections I have made for future reference. Look at the following two sentences which are underlined: Speaking against the authority is regarded as the brave behavior, because people have to endure the damages which will follow after speaking. Most of people would be afraid to speak out against authority
In the first sentence, you can see a comma between behavior and because. This is a very common mistake. You shouldn’t put a comma before because in a sentence like this.
In the second one, you wrote ‘most of people’. This is also a very common mistake. You shouldn’t write ‘most of’. You only need to write ‘most people’.
이 에세이의 아이디어는 상당히 훌륭하다. 또한 구조 면에서도 뛰어나다. 그렇지만 문법적인 면과 원어민이 구사하는 방식의 영작, 그리고 다른 많은 문제점을 갖고 있다. 밑줄 친 부분을 어떻게 수정해야 할지 확인하고 추후 영작에 참조하기 바란다.
밑줄친 첫 문장의 behavior와 because 사이에 쉼표가 있는데, 이는 흔히 범하는 실수다. because절 앞에서는 쉼표를 사용하지 말아야 한다. 다음 문장에서는 most of people이라고 썼는데, 이것도 매우 흔한 실수 가운데 하나다. most of 대신 most people을 사용하기 바란다.
주간동아 605호 (p86~87)