사람들은 행복을 찾는 능력이 있거나 항상 가진 것 이상의 무엇을 추구한다고 생각하는가? 이 문제에 관해 독서, 학습, 경험 또는 관찰에서 얻은 논리와 예를 가지고 당신의 주장을 입증하시오.
-SAT Essay 주제
[학생 작문] Happiness is the ultimate goal of life for almost all people. However, people often misunderstand where happiness lies or how happiness  comes to their lives. Nowadays, many search  happiness in money, sex  and ill drugs, believing that those will provide them with a shortcut to  substitute for happiness. Also, people often  mistake that happiness never existed until their desire is fulfilled. However, I believe that happiness exists everywhere, even in the process of searching for happiness. Thus, people are more than capable of finding happiness , even though they continually “search for something beyond what they have.”
It is  innate that people work and struggle to find happiness. Although many complain about getting up in the morning and  taking the painful shower everyday to go to work, people go to work to earn money  , so that  they can fulfill the necessary need to gain happiness, whether  it is shelter, food, car or leisure. 
What many do not realize is that through their lives  they find  and feel happiness even though they  have not achieved their  goal of life. Even though  the everyday work seems laborious and  painful,  they actually feel happy that they have successfully  taken a part of society. In other words, ‘a hard day’s work’ makes people happy. This can be  proven through a brief personal example that I believe many have  felt during their adolescence. I  have been terribly sick once, and  although the pain had grown very large in me, I was happy  to not go to school for a  pretty long time. However, I  had felt very bored after  couple days of missing school, even though  video games and  cartoon shows accompanied me at home. I realized that I was actually  happy when  going to school and having fun with friends and teachers at school. Even though  the goal for me then was to finish school and move on to junior high , I was happy during the process of achieving  the goal. Likewise, even though  people all have goals  to pursue happiness, during the process of finding happiness, they already have acquired it.
Some people tend to think negatively about their lives and  abase themselves that they will never be happy again. However, they should never lose hope for it is easy to find happiness because happiness  waits even in the process of achieving  the ultimate happiness.  Anyone is more than capable of finding happiness  for it only takes a slight change in people’s mindsets.
[Comment] You wrote a really good essay. You organized it very well, and you used good examples. I have already commented that your first body paragraph would have been better with more explanation. As you can see, your first body paragraph is a lot shorter than your second paragraph. It seems to be a bit unbalanced. It would also have been good to mention that people find happiness in small things like the smell of fresh coffee in the morning, sunshine, a pretty flower or other things. People find happiness in these things even though they may not always realize it. You used a nice variety of sentence structures in your essay and you don’t have any errors in your structure. You still have some errors in grammar and some awkward expressions, so pay attention to how I have corrected those.
아주 잘 쓴 에세이입니다. 구성을 잘했고 좋은 예제들을 사용했습니다. 첫째 단락에 설명이 추가됐다면 더 좋은 글이 되었을 것입니다. 첫째 단락이 둘째 단락보다 너무 짧아 균형이 맞지 않아 보입니다. 사람들이 사소한 것, 이를테면 아침의 신선한 커피 냄새나 태양빛, 예쁜 꽃 같은 것에서 행복을 발견한다고 언급하면 좋을 것입니다. 사람들은 인식을 잘 못할지라도 이런 것들에서 행복을 발견하기도 합니다. 다양한 구조가 사용된 에세이이며, 문장구조에서 실수가 거의 없습니다. 문법적인 요소에서 약간의 실수와 부적절한 표현이 있었는데, 이것을 어떻게 고쳤는지 잘 살펴보시기 바랍니다.