자신을 이해하려면 무엇을 해야 할까요?

마애관음석불 앞에서 참배를 올리고 있는 현각 스님.

[문제] In your opinion, what must we do in order to truly understand ourselves? In an essay, support your position by discussing an example (or examples) from literature, the arts, science and technology, history, current events, or your own experience or observation.

우리 자신을 진정으로 이해하기 위해 우리는 무엇을 해야 하는가? 문학, 예술, 과학과 기술, 역사, 시사적 사건 그리고 경험과 관찰을 통해 얻은 예를 들어 당신의 주장을 기술하시오.

-SAT Essay 주제

[학생 작문] For many centuries, we [1] men have always [2] questioned ourselves; who are we? The answer to the question is not simple [3], because the way [4] we view things are very different from each other. Although I believe that we can never fully understand [5] each other and even ourselves, by interacting with [6] each other [7] can we come one step closer to understanding [8] ourselves.

The reason that we cannot understand ourselves well enough is [9] because everybody views the world differently. As we grow up to be adults, we tend to [10] have opinions [11] for ourselves, whether they are influenced by [12] another or original. However, because of the opinionated views [13] of us, every person views [14] ourselves in varying ways. [15] Even we have opinionated views of ourselves, whether they are good or bad. For example, [16] for some people, [17] the Buddhist monk can be viewed as a [18] pathetic sinner [19] disobeying the God [20] to a Catholic, whereas to a Buddhist, the monk can be viewed as a devoted individual. Therefore, [21] not many can have an objective view of anybody. That is why interacting with [22] each other can lead to a more objective view of [23] ourselves, eventually leading [24] to a better understanding of [25] ourselves.



The reason we should [26] gather other’s opinions [27] of others through interaction and communication is that we can sum up the opinions [28] [29] not only to have a better idea of ourselves, but also to improve our characters so we can have a better understanding of who we [30] were, and who we can become. Through our own eyes, we cannot improve for we are limited [31] with only one opinion for each of us. Although we may have a [32] good understanding of ourselves, we will never overcome the weaknesses in our characters if we [33] are never exposed to them. The only way that we can be exposed to our weaknesses is [34] by other people letting us know. Also, by communicating with each other and letting [35] each other know about their [36] weakness points, we can develop a mutual relationship where we all can benefit. However, we should always be careful that we [37] should never try to hurt each other’s feelings by pointing out the weaknesses blatantly and brutally.

[38] We have always wondered the objective evaluations of ourselves for better understanding. Thus, [39] we have approached many different ways to evaluate ourselves: through psychology [40] or through history. However, the most effective way [41] I recommend is to [42] interacting with each other, [43] communicate the weakness points and even complement the strong points, and develop a beneficial relationship. In that way, we can not only understand each other, but also understand ourselves better than [44] we have before.

첨삭

[1] 삭제 [2] → pondered the question:

[3] 삭제 [4] → things are viewed varies from person to person.

[5] → others [6] → others, [7] → we can [8] → human life

[9] → that [10] → form [11] 삭제

[12] → other people or formed individually

[13] 삭제 [14] → things [15] 삭제 [16] → to a Christian, [17] → a

[18] → wretched [19] → who disobeys God [20] 삭제

[21] → it is very difficult to find unbiased, objective views that every person in the world holds.

[22] → others [23] → other people [24] each person 삽입

[25] → him or herself [26] → listen to [27] 삭제 [28] .(마침표) 삽입

[29] → By considering other’s opinions, we can improve our characters, and develop

[30] → are [31] → to only our own individual opinions.

[32] → basic [33] → don’t truly understand them.

[34] → for other people to identify them to us.

[35] → others [36] → weaknesses [37] → never hurt

[38] → Humankind has pondered the question of human nature in an effort to gain a

[39] → different ways to evaluate human nature have evolved:

[40] → and [41] 삭제 [42] → interact with others

[43] → discuss weaknesses and reinforce strengths to develop long lasting relationships. [44] 삭제

[Comment] You wrote a very good essay. All of your ideas were clear and generally concise. You organized your essay well and used good logical thinking to support your ideas. You had few grammatical errors and most of the corrections I made were to improve the tone or the word choice. Pay attention to my corrections and try to remember them so that you can use them in your own writing in the future. I only have one mistake to point out to you. Look at the following italicized sentence:

The answer to the question is not simple, because the way things are viewed varies from person to person.

There is a punctuation mistake. You shouldn’t use a comma before because. I think you already know this so check your work for these kinds of mistakes in the future.

매우 잘 쓴 에세이다. 아이디어가 명확하고 전반적으로 간결하다. 에세이를 짜임새 있게 구성했고, 아이디어를 뒷받침하기 위해 매우 논리적인 사고를 활용했다. 몇 군데 문법적 오류가 있어 전체적인 톤을 살리고 올바른 단어 선택을 위해 수정했다. 그 내용에 주의를 기울이고 앞으로 에세이를 쓸 때 활용하기 바란다. 다음 부분은 구두점을 잘못 사용했다.

The answer to the question is not simple, because the way things are viewed varies from person to person.

‘because’ 앞에는 쉼표를 사용하지 말아야 한다.