창의성은 과거보다 오늘날 더 필요할까?

뉴욕의 애플사 매장에서 아이팟을 구경하고 있는 고객. 아이팟의 인기는 현대 산업사회에서 창의력이 얼마나 중요한 요소인지를 여실히 보여준다.

[문제] Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

창의성은 오늘날의 세계에서 더 많이 필요한가? 이 문제에 대한 당신의 견해가 드러나도록 에세이를 기획하고 쓰시오. 논리적 추론과 당신의 독서, 학업, 경험 또는 관찰에서 얻은 예를 들어 견해를 뒷받침하시오.

- SAT Essay 주제

[학생 작문] “Imagination is more important than knowledge” is a famous quote by Albert Einstein. In previous years, knowledge and intelligence were only needed in order to succeed. However, these days, there are so many [1] smart people that creativity has become the [2] top element to win over other competitors. Knowledge can be [3] built up by studying hard; however, creativity cannot be [4] built by just studying. It requires intense thinking and endless imagination. The reasons why creativity is needed more than ever in this world today are that creativity is the only way to survive [5] from competition and represent one’s identity clearly.

Especially in [6] marketing and advertising industry, creativity is the most important because [7] it is the strongest way to grab customer’s attentions. Many successful companies such as Apple have extremely creative marketing strategies and [8] advertisement that differentiate from other competitive companies. For example, Apple’s iPod is the most popular MP3 player worldwide not only because of its high performance but also [9] its unique design and the advertisement. [10] Almost everyone can visualize the iPod advertisement which is successful. The [11] design of iPod products is simple but creative. Design has become tremendously essential [12] to appeal the customers. In this case, Apple’s iPod [13] gained the victory over other competitors because of its creative design and advertisement.



[14] Creativity is something that cannot be the same among many people. Therefore, there are million things that other people cannot think of but only one person. One’s creativity can never be the same as others since the process of thinking is so different and unique. Creativity mostly comes from personal experience; thus, [15] creativity is the same as one’s identity which represents people like a mirror. If people are smart but not creative, then it is hard to persuade others and be recognized. There are many unfortunate incidents where people have a hard time finding a suitable job after graduating college or university because [16] of their lack of creativity. Since there are numerous people who have intelligence, [17] there is no way to compare themselves with others. Thus, creativity is the only one way [18] to make people special and different from others who have the same knowledge.

In conclusion, creativity is [19] far more important than knowledge in the world today. Without creativity, it [20] seems difficult for people to have an opportunity to accomplish their dreams and gain fame. Even Einstein, [21] the genius in the universe, emphasized “imagination is more important than knowledge.” In order to [22] be perfect in any field, people must have creativity first.

첨삭

[1] → gifted

[2] → key component of ensuring success.

[3] → developed [4] → developed through study. [5] → in today’s competitive world and to represent [6] → the marketing and advertising industries [7] → with ingenious strategies, large market shares can be secured which result in larger profits.

[8] → advertisements that differ [9] because of 삽입 [10] 삭제

[11] → designs of iPod products are

[12] → in appealing to customers. [13] → has secured the largest share of the MP3 market [14] Creativity is something that cannot be the same among many people. Therefore, there are million things that other people cannot think of but only one person. One’s creativity can never be the same as others since the process of thinking is so different and unique.: Do you mean something like: An individual’s creativity is like DNA; it is uniquely unlike anyone else’s. [15] creativity is the same as one’s identity which represents people like a mirror. If people are smart but not creative, then it is hard to persuade others and be recognized.: the sentences are unclear for the reader to understand. [16] → they lack creativity. [17] → they must find a creative way to make themselves more attractive to potential employers. [18] → for an individual to make him or herself different from others. [19] → more [20] → is

[21] → a great genius, stated that [22] → be successful

[Comment] Your essay in the first half is really good. I thought I was going to give you a really high score but unfortunately, your second body paragraph isn’t very effective. The parts in blue are unclear and awkward sounding. I think you had a good idea in your mind of what you wanted to say but you weren’t able to clearly get those thoughts down in this paragraph.

Judging by your first two paragraphs, I think you have a very good ability to write. What you need to do now, especially when you are struggling with expressing your thoughts clearly, is to ask yourself these two questions: Have I expressed this idea in the best way possible? Will my reader understand exactly what I mean? Except for your second body paragraph, the rest of your essay is really well done.

이 에세이는 첫 단락의 반까지는 아주 잘 썼습니다. 매우 높은 점수를 주고 싶은 생각이 들었지만, 안타깝게도 두 번째 단락은 그리 좋지 못합니다. 푸른색으로 된 부분은 뜻이 분명하지 않고 어색합니다. 글쓴이는 말하고자 하는 바를 마음속에 잘 그려낸 것 같습니다. 하지만 단락 안에서 그런 생각들을 명확하게 서술해내지 못했습니다.

첫 번째의 두 단락으로 판단해보건대, 글쓴이는 글을 잘 쓸 수 있는 능력을 가지고 있다고 생각됩니다. 지금 글쓴이에게 필요한 것은 자신의 생각을 명확하게 표현하는 것입니다. 이 일이 힘들게 느껴지면 두 가지 질문을 해보시기 바랍니다. 내 생각을 가장 잘 표현했는가? 이 글을 읽을 사람은 내가 뜻한 바를 정확하게 이해할 수 있을까? 두 번째 단락을 제외하면 에세이는 훌륭합니다.