나쁜 선택과 좋은 선택은 모두 똑같이 부정적인 결과를 가져올 것인가? 독서, 학습, 경험 또는 관찰에서 얻은 논리와 예를 가지고 당신의 주장을 입증하시오. -SAT Essay 주제
[학생 작문] How  we make  the decisions is very important because  the decisions can change the consequences that  we are going to face.  It is obvious that bad choices will lead  us into terrible situations. However,  we can not say that  good choice always  benefits to us, because good  choice  sometimes  give us risks rather than  advantages. Since  we can not predict what the perfect decision for particular problem is,  we should always pay great attentions and be careful in making decision.
Although good choices can afford us great advantages, it can also have negative results. For example, in the novel The Great Gatsby,  once a poor boy, Gatsby  made  decision to be rich so he could overcome the gap between Daisy,  Gatsby’s lover, and himself. Enduring whatever he had to, Gatsby finally became a rich man whom everyone  respects. One day, he saw the Daisy with her husband. Daisy already married other man  while Gatsby kept thinking of her.  Can this be good choice? Considering in his economic side, it is a good choice, but he failed his main goal of loving Daisy. Therefore, good choices and bad choices emerge from different points of views.
Since  we are not god, we don’t know what  are the good choices and bad choices  before  we actually  encounter the problems. For example, when I wrestled for 2 years, this experience  gave me both good and bad consequences. I became physically strong and  got the endurance that I can overcome any other hard workings. However, I struggled with my school work.  What about I didn’t do the wrestling?   Then I will not be as strong as right now.  But my grade would be better than what now I have.  There always be good and bad results  for any choices.
In conclusion, because there are negative consequences for both good and bad choices,  we should make a decision  that we can reduce the damage the most.  On the other hand, since there are negative consequences for good choices, there might be positive consequences for bad choices too.  We should think of this and always try hard to make our consequences which will be helpful to us.
[Comment] Your reasoning and examples in your essay are very good. I think they effectively support your opinion. You have a little problem with clarity in some of your sentences. Always try to write so that you are expressing your ideas as clearly and concisely as possible. Try to avoid questions because they are too informal. Also, be careful of making statements such as: Everybody knows, Every sensible person will think that, It is obvious that. These statements reduce the effectiveness of your writing.
이 에세이는 논리와 예제들이 매우 좋아서 효과적으로 필자의 견해를 뒷받침하고 있다. 몇몇 문장에서 명료하지 못한 점이 있다. 가능하면 생각을 명확하고 간단하게 표현하면서 글을 쓰도록 노력해야 한다. 문장 가운데 의문문을 쓰면 격식 없는 글이 될 수 있으므로 피하는 게 좋다. 또 “Everybody knows, Every sensible person will think that, 또는 It is obvious that”과 같은 문장은 글의 효율성을 떨어뜨리므로 주의하는 게 좋다.