[문제] It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? “배우는 모든 것이 책 속에 담겨 있지는 않다”라고 한다. 경험으로부터 배우는 지식과 책에서 얻는 지식을 비교하고 대조하라. 당신의 견해로는 어느 것이 더 중요한가? 또 그 이유는 무엇인가? - TOEFL 주제
글쓴이는 경험과 책 모두 지식 습득의 주요한 방법이라고 설명하며 역사책에서 배우는 역사적 사건에 대한 예를 든다. 영화로 재연된 미국 남북전쟁의 한 장면.
[학생 작문] Some people  get knowledge from books.  The others  gained knowledge from their experiences. I believe both ways are important to our  life, because  they have great advantages.
Through experiences, people cannot  easily forget their knowledge. In other words, they  will deeply remind what they experienced. It is difficult  that one who have shocking event forget that accident. If they meet  the similar situation,  past accident is reminded. For example,  here is the man who has experience that his arm is broken by car accident.  Actually, he is my friend. When he collided with  car, he  was cutting into the road on red light. After  that accident, he never crosses the road  when red signal is on. Likewise, experience is  powerful way to gain the knowledge.
Through books, people can  get various experiences indirectly. Also, people can save time  to get materials.  The book is a kind of other peoples’ knowledge from their experiences, so reading a book means  to experience indirectly. In addition, readers do not need to  create the results which an author already mentioned on the book. Therefore, reader can  reduce time consuming. Suppose that you read a book about U.S history. If you understand the contents of the book, you do not need to  revival the past, because your imagination  already draw the picture which author want to tell in your brain.
책으로 배우는 지식도 중요하지만 경험처럼 강렬한 기억을 남기지는 못한다.
In conclusion, there are  a lot of advantages to get knowledge more than what  I mentioned. I would like to  force only one thing, that  the gaining experience is valuable than books. However, it is absolutely true  both methods to take knowledge are important to our life.
[Comment] While there is some thought and consideration displayed in answering the question, there are insufficient details to support the argument. There are also numerous errors in grammar and structure. Still, your argument and point are very clear. Try to focus more on supporting your argument with stronger examples and reducing the amount of grammatical errors. Take more time to plan an organized outline.
질문에 대답하는 데는 여러 생각과 고려가 있을 수 있지만, 이 글에는 주장을 뒷받침하기 위한 상세한 설명이 부족합니다. 문법과 글의 구성에서도 실수가 많습니다. 글쓴이의 주장과 요점은 명확합니다. 좀더 강한 예를 들어 주장을 뒷받침하는 데 초점을 맞추고 문법적 실수를 줄여야겠습니다. 또한 글을 구성하는 아우트라인을 잡는 데 더 많은 시간을 들이도록 합시다.
주간동아 626호 (p92~93)